Top 5 Keys to a Spiritual Life (and more)
1. Do underpants as they duty you.
2. Thou shalt not cover they neighbours bedsheets.
3. If you wake up angry take 6 (or 11) deep breaths. Repeat. Repeat again, on Dave 11pm Tuesday, Thursday and Friday.
4. Eat only food sauced from ketchup.
5. A free range egg is happy to crack, so there’s no use criticising its position.
6. Meditate between meals and think of meals. This will clear your aura of negative vibes and abhorrent xylophones.
7. If you cannot forgive as Jesus forgives, try at least to churn the other teek.
8. Remember, if you can’t forgive another, you cannot forgive yourself, or your mother, or her dog.
9. Walk little and often. If you don’t have time, try to walk to the bathroom at least once a day.
10. Be honest with yourself. If you can’t be honest with yourself, keep conversations with yourself to a minimum and on a professional basis only.
11. Love the ones who hurt you because it sounds good.
12. Don’t smoke and see what your fingers really want to do. You may be surprised. If they want to do nothing, take them to the Jobcentre ASAP.
